track.

Just deleted my post yesterday, saved it as log for future reference.

Hate level : 5 pts.

Aww

It has been long. So busy this short break. None gd rest so far. Everyday is spent in sch.

I feel so mentally drained. So weak. And there is so much things to do!

1. Poly forum
2. Mile program?
3. Sri lanka Experdition
4. Medical.

All happening in a short space of a month of hols! Omggg.

My dream was to become an astronaunt. But thats not possible, the next best thing was to be a pilot. Thats not so possible too, the next best thing is an officer. If I had the chance, would I sign on as an officer? My friend said, his not going to forsake a profession in photography. Should I as well?

It has been sometime since my previous post. Was I alittle too oversensitive. But what has done has been done. Nope I'm not going to the extreme end. Am too tired. All these games...are unnessecary. Or was I playing with myself, playing with fire? I dont even know what I am talking. Fuck it.


Another friend was quick to point out something. We where on a photoshot. Had one idea, he said it was cheena, I scraped. He had an idea, it was cheena, he didnt scrap! He said,

Because your ego too big, thats why you cant try it out!

Sia lah, i'm fucked upside down. Very true indeed. Changed with immediate effect. Thanks pal.
Its this kind of comment that can fucking change one's life. And suddenly, I planned to do a series on my friends. What?! Dont fuck me. I'll fuck you back with interest.

I think I have changed. Back in those years, I envy those couples. Now, I hate them. Shldnt use the word hate. I resent. I cant help but think, the ugly side when they quarrel, when they argue, when its time for the ultimate breaking up.

What have I becomed! I have transcended from a level where I hate "Anti-racism band" (Only those who know the 2 types of ppl I hate will understand) as much as I resent couples on the road. Hate level is now...jet black.

I have a friend who broke up after 2 serious years of relationship. Why? The girl was too practical. HE just wasnt rich enough.

I have a friend going after a girl who is attached. HE mentioned about turning back time, where he would have done smt. I would have guessed he would have made the move.

Is relationship so fucking important? So fucking essential? WHY?

I told myself. Get myself a 1D MKII. Travel the world. Search for enlightenment through my lens. I Will make it happen. Someone said,

if u look down on ur dream, then it is not a dream
and if u think ur dream is nv fulfilled, den why dream? its not a dream
always live up ur dream

Erm, why did I paste this? Nvm fuck it. I'm off.

Hate Index is now : 450 pts .

Comment.

Sometimes I dun understand why.

Although I had this discussion before, but it do makes one wonder why one would need comments on one's picture?

Tucker told me his point of view. And for his case I totally agree. Sometimes, when u ask people to comment on a picture, it must be of some standard, else you wont post it. That so, why do you seek comments? So that people will say its NICE and give you some moral booster?

I don't know why issit I treasure your comment so much. Not that you have done any. OOps. I swear I wldnt be hinting anyone. My Mistake.

From here on and, I shall lock myself against unnecessary comments. This is my photography. I choose the influence I want (not from comments. Rather like ansel, greg, etc) . I shall improve my own photos. Lets stay down to earth, and try not to get myself hurt in the process, thinking that your comments are meaningful to me.

/me gone.

Initial D

Because you are always running alone

Never had you been competing with others

Remember

Never have the urge to compete with others

Dont compete with others, What you want to win, is yourself

a + b + c

Yesterday was a meaning full day. We had our basic phototgraphy workshop.

Johnathan is a 2nd year sp student, studying DCnT. His looks just like any other teenager. What sets him apart is, his deaf. But this did not hindered him in learning photography. I was his instructor.

He was honored to have me as his instructor. I was honored to have him as my student.

We knew each other back when he was year 1, joining us for our photography camp. He left halfway, but we had fond memories of him.

Thanks to PS, we communicated with the help of a laptop. The notes were self explanatory, and I was doing the typing most of the time. I wondered if I got the point across, cos he didnt said much. But hopefully he got it.

During some spare time I was constantly learning some simple sign languages from him.

How are you?
I am fine.
I understand.
Where.
Yes.
No.
I dont know.
Animal.
Human.
J, N, C, Y, T.
Take care.
See you again.
Joking.
Lets go eat.

Friends

Haha. Never has the words friends be so meaningful. After sdsc and yesterday, I have gained another valuable insight into the world that was locked to me. I am thankful, for the life I have now. Thanks mom, thanks dad. You wldnt get to see this. But you will know, someday.

This is not the life I wanna have.

Hi.

I want to be in the army.

Counting another 1/2 years.

I want to be ignorant like before.

Counted. Thats way over due.

I want to BE MYSELF.

Counting another millenium.

NKF?

Hi its time for another episode for hear cy kpkb on his blog time.

Its 1 lightyear since I have blogged. Oh. Its mean it has been long since I've blogged. No its not the distance. Nope you dont get it. No thats not it either. #!$!#!%$^#@!@. Forget it.

Back to the main topic. Here's a short, I mean 160cm update on myself.

1. Fallin in love with corrinne May's voice. So......My english bad sorry cant describe.

2. 500 shots on my 10D X 2 ! Upz...

3. I'm still fortunately single. ( Yes you've got it right! All the girls are blessed, cos my friends say anyone's whois my gf is a terrible thing to happen to the girl. Isnt that right guys! = )

4. Emotional status = Rainbow. ( Dont know what mood to be in. So funny. Like happy for a while then sad for a while then angry for a while then gungho for a while. Nope this is not PMS mind you. Its called .... can you give me a name?)

OK short break for game. I'm training for WCG. Dont know? World Cyber Games. Dont know? You know hor, the whole world lor, then hor, diff color people hor, come play game lor, then hor, see who more zhai lor, then hor, win some cash and title lor. (.........)

Ok backed. For the first time my life is so hectic. There are so many test and deadlines, so many unplanned stuff and proposals to submit. Its hard. But it gave me a grip on reality and time. And again for the first time I know how time is short and passes like a bird shit thats on your way to your head and your looking at it( Ok it means very fast. Do I hear "....." ).

Although I reilliterate (correct speeling boh?) my stand to be single, I suddenly plan not to type this out incase of being accused of being .....

Ok. SO there is this NKF thing. So do you know the CEO is getting 25k a month salary. And he travels in first class on NKF funds. And he accessorized his office with a 1k gold tap. What a wonderful kidney foundation! So does my $4 out of a $5 donation go to your pay? Oh. I dont have the right to know where my $5 out of my $200 per month allowance go? Oh ok.

You can kiss you donations good bye. I just heard they withdraw the lawsuit against SPH. This is what we call a quiter, a loser, a noob.

Its quite sad to see those people who are really in need of public support and donations to carry on living. But somehow I am not donating again.

Ever.

?

haha. Hope none of you gain my negative influence. I am a bad guy.No one associates with. I havnt heard before, "Oh ya! I know CY! His ok lar...blah blah blah". I have only heard before, "Oh! That GY CY ah!".

Someone just left an obvious hint for someone. If its so obvious, why is there a need to say?

Sometimes I feel my life is like one of my black and white picture. No colors in life. Just portraying the struggles between the elements. Just being plain with a soft grey. Contradicting? There are always 3 sides. Black, White, Grey.

dis a soci a tion

Hi. I am blogging to an fucking situation that I may have rediscovered.

I left my worst part of my entire fucking life behind and fucked on. O'rite, perhaps some of you might say I am ungrateful, cheat, ass, wadeva fucking nouns and adjectives you can find.

But the problem is, I have to reannouce, that I have a fucking attitude. And that is why I have so many fucked up enemies. Lets not use the word enemies. I have too many fucked up non supporters. Yes. Because I have a ATTITUDE PROBLEM. I remember someone said before, I have a attitude YOU ALL CANT HANDLE.

I JUST deleted some fucking entries in fear or insulting or degrading or wadeva fuck to my readers. Anyway. I just like to say. I AM FUCKING HAPPY (dun sound like? LOL) NOW. DONT GET ME INVOLVED in any of your PUNY LIFE, LIFESTYLE, ACTIVITIES, WADEVA FUCK.

Aiya. Fuck care liao lar. VP suppose to set gd example also. But knnbccb lar I sibei dulan liao. Lucky I know no small kids reading this. But I know perhaps 1 or 2 ladies might be reading. OH isnt that great. Perhaps some introducing and I will be permanently single. In case you dont know who I am :

CHong Yew of SP of DARE3A02 of MM.

And OH. Perhaps I have a fucking PUNY brain. Let me go squash against the wall.

New post.

Oh hi.

I am now the vice president of the singapore polytechnic photographers.

Its time.