Happy New year lah.

"You know, there is more to life then gaming. There is still so much of the real world to see. It was a frightening moment for me when my friend marcus uttered those words before one of our nightly gaming sessions.

Time screeched to a halt, like someone pressing the pause button in the middle of a Warcraft III battle. Marcus was a gaming lord among my friends, a man who once decleared that he would happily reject sex with a supermodel for a chance to win the World Cyber Games.

He loved games filled ninjas. His stage of enlightenment was such that mundane urges like defecation have been overcome, allowing him countless hours in front of a computer "killing: others like him.

Why give that up for the real world - a unfathomale place filled with mysterious things like fashion and hygiene? It doesnt have save and reload buttons or even respawn points after getting killed.

Instead, it has concepts that have existed in the mists of prehistoric cyber-universe, back when Bill Gates was merely a multi-millionaire. But, alas, one by one, I've seen my friends fall lemming-like to girlfriends and marketing jobs, lost to us forever.

And-I fear-I too am lost.

Growing up is one of those ugly things any right-thinking person should do their best to avoid. But it creeps on you. Like gollum. I remember a time when all I needed to feel divine was to walk out of Serene Centre with my ugly beige schoolboy shorts bulging with $20 worth of Magic: The Gathering cards.

Now, not even the Xbox 360 could give me geekdom nirvana, if only because I just have to think how many hours I have to slog at work before I can afford such things. Then there is the whole girlfriend issue. When I was but a little geek, girls were incomprehensible entitles that stimulated an equally unfathomable and unreasonable desire to acquire one.

Like the Holy Grail, the quest involved various seemingly insurmountable difficulties, such as my colossal lack of height and a vocabulary that included only football terms and Conan The Barbarian small talk. One would think the emergence of geek chic would ease one's dating troubles, but all it did was prove that cool people can do geek better then geeks themselves.

Yes, somehow, I found a girlfriend, along with a job and responsiblity (which should bring hope to everyone). And like anyone who has ever chanced upon the fabled chalice, everything changed. Gaming sessions have become sparse as the clique find themselves spending our nights taming our better halves, working in the office or recovering from just plain tiredness.

No longer are my conversations dominated by topics like magical gaming gear (also known as The Swords Of Female Repulsion). Instead, talk is about housing loans, future children, mother-in-laws and income tax. And if you think computer games bad, do you know how difficult it is to explain why one would want to arrange a pen-and-paper-role-playing session to a girlfriend?

It's not possible to explain to the average woman why a group of grown-up men can sit around a table and pretend to be elves and dwarves and fight monsters for imaginary loot without looking like a total dork.

Sadly, it is impossible to fight time.

As boyhood fades, so must friendship built on nights spent trying to get the Warcraft II multiplayer to work on a 28.8kb modem.

Reality is a bad place for a geek to be cast adrift in."


This post is a long one. And clearly it wasnt written by me.
1. I'm not attached
2. I'm not working
3. I'm language-ly challenged

The reason why I typed it out because I can relate it happening to me soon, about the growing up part and not the girlfriend part. Its a nice article in the newpaper, and I want to share it with you guys. Somehow, it takes a gamer to understand how a fellow gamer feels, esp now my computer has been wrecked.

I'm spending my new year in malaysia. And I hate it. Somehow when I spend new years in a foreign land, away from my motherland and friends, I dont remember to make new year wishes or resolutions. And that year usually get bads. Imagine all the happy new year sms-es at midnight, now turned to the tv in front of me, surrounded by little cousins too young to realise the importance of new year celebrations, watching crappy malaysian channels in the hot living room. Then its of to bed. No MSNs, no SMSes, no CALLS, no happy new year.

God damn it i really hate it when we have to go over to that country for relative visits. There's really nothing in the god damn boring days to do but just stare into the laptop hopping for it to be somehow connected to cyberspace. You can imagine its worst even before a laptop was bought. At least my sister has some friends there. I have NONE. My fellow same age cousins are already working and too old to play those hide and seek and running around and get scolded shit.

Even if I wanted to walk around taking pictures, its much too dangerous to just walk around alone, and even a mode of transportation isnt available except small bicycles intended for primary school kids and worn out bicycle left by my late grandma with punctured tyres and top speed of 2m per minute. I cant even ride the motorcycles yah, 1. no license, 2. my parents think I'm not compitent enough to handle one.

I really hate it going there at the dead end of the year. But I try to hide the dissapointment in my eyes, as I know my dad would be sad not being able to go back to his hometown to visit his brother and sisters.

Haix. Happy New Year my friends. I'm going to have a sucky year ahead.

P.S My previous post poll is still on. Leave a comment!

Blah - ahha - haha

I have to resort to my sis's laptop now.. Arg.

In advance, happy new year, hari raya haji, chinese new year, good friday, labour day, vesak day, national day, your bdae, hari raya pussa, christmas day, hari raya haji (again?!)...

I walked 12clicks yesterday! What a achievement! From 0830 at macritchie reservoir, all the way to HSBC treetop (I wont recommend anyone trying), then lunch then to bukit timah hill 1800++. AND in addition to the day before I went to bukit timah hill too. Now I can imagine the 72click road march. Woohoo.

If your reading this thanks to you for making it possible! Thankyou very much haha..the golf course was really fun!

Now....a poll for all of my dear friends! (dun worry if u dun know if u are one, cos if your reading this your already automatically drafted into the gd friends list. Mind you the list isnt very long you know so be glad! =D)

Do you think I should use my 2 payouts ( around $600+) to
1. Buy a gift for a friend (whois desperately in need of it, and yes it cost $600+)
2. Go for 2 objectif courses (www.objectifs.com.sg if you dont know. Its the photojournalism and shooting home courses. Its my dream to get in to shooting home!!)
3. Go a short travel before enlistment.
4. Or buy a PSP!!!!! ( I just saw a brand new white psp package with 1GB stick for just $499!! sure come in handy in NS LOR!!! Shit man....so gian... =O)

What say you my dear friends!!

Happy Christmas!!

This the season to be lonely,

Lala la la la. La La La La.


Its the festive season again! And the year is going to end on a sour note.. How sad. Let me explain...

-Somehow, the year started on a horrible bang. I was single again! What dang it was.
-Then it was new year, 2005, and I wasnt invited to any party or mahjong or stay overs. (not that I have been usually, but I can remember I was invited to one Last year)
-Then it was chinese new year, and it was record low in the stock markets! I recieved the lowest ever red packets. (not that i'm money face, but somehow it all pieces together to a year of shit)
-Then it was a boring year, I cant seem to recount on anything gd happening to me somehow. My attempt at meeting old friends resulted in meeting only 1, and I got to be a clown for her and her friend!
-I remember for my 19th birthday, I dont recount any presents or party for me. Not even any of my friends even ask me out to celebrate! And I thought bdae was a big deal. Bull-shit.
-And now, for this christmas, No party or anything! OK I was invited to one, but I dont really think it counts because I had to rush there after work, and reaching there almost when they where about to go home isnt the best party. And somehow, going into a living room full of alcohol smell isnt really a turn on. And I also dont really count a party with a 6 guys with a girl. Even LOTR on tv was a much need turn on for me.

I can sense some of you saying what a moron I am. Complaining about not invited to a party and when invited to one, still can critise it. Well, after my explaining above, if you all still can enjoy if u where in my shoes, then jolly gd for u.

-And I doubt there's going to be any new year plan for me as well.
-And as if things couldnt get worst, my graphic card just fizzled out on me, and I cant play my warcraft 3 with crashing my computer!!! Geez fuck.
-And it really turn holy shit when I wanted to install a game via cd, my DVD-CD driver gave up on me as well! Cant even detect the drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It isnt a happy holiday season for nothing! Judging by how things are going, I wouldnt count on a great next year. Going into NS? I'm giving up hope on everything else.

Life's a bitch when you hope for the best. zZz.

Merry christmas you filty animal. And a happy new year. (From home alone)

Omg LOW IQ

OK. Perhaps 1 main reason why I havnt recieved an army letter is because...


You guessed it. Low IQ. And I thought someone said (alot of people said) Commandoes all braws no brains.

Perhaps another reason is my high myopia degree. But only 350 both nia. Bo ko leng leh.

zzzz. My friends all commando or officer. Its hard to expect myself to be a INFANTRY MAN.

zzzz. I CANT BELIEVE IT!

I'm not going to spend my 2 years doing shit vocation.

Where's the honor and glory days!!!

The Boy(me) Just Dont Get it

No matter how hard I try, there are just somethings I cant get.

So many of my friends got chosen for commandos interview seh. And some of them isnt even interested. It just seems that the harder I try ( and say) I wan to get into the commandos, someone up there (or down) just wldnt let me. zZz?

And why everyone says commandos are a bunch of brawns and no brains? Its like so shit lor for **** sake. No other unit trains as hard (or harder) then them, and isnt on the first on the fronts lines. And all these cant even get some decent respect? zzz/.

Short update, was working at expo, and I also cant seem to understand why City Harvest (wo0t holy) can attract so much happy goers. And some how, after my some what casual observation, they all seem to have the same aura around them. Its kinda scary. To me, of course, they some how dress alike (same dress sense), and they walk alike, have the errie stare in their eyes, they have the baggy eyes, pale skin. Young and sucked of their essence.

Zombies?

I mean this just my personal stand point, and I still respect them as a religion, but perhaps my somehow limited knowledge of their operations (saying this to protect myself in any case,) cannot really truly judge them.


But seeing 30 thousand of them in 3 sessions is really a sight to behold.

-

1. kill

2. Be rich

3. I hate $$$

d-s-a-e-w-q

if only everything like the above is so simple.

Sometimes, things seem so near, but actually its so far. You dream for the best for yourself, however, it was never meant to be.

Time and time again I've wished not to fall into this trap. I am too weak.


Pes A for medical.

"Do your peers think National Service is a waste of time?" - Strongly agree
"Do you think National Service is a waste of time?" - Strongly disagree

I'm wishing for the commando's letter to arrive.
Perhaps in my 2yrs, I can find honour and glory to occupy my heart. To make it stronger.

Rather then love.

Love?

Coming to recall, I have not met anyone who hasnt had the same relationship till now, since the beginning when I know that person.

Weichao, on off 2 yrs, now single.
Yaomin, on off for as long as I know him, currently unknown.
Ck, 2yrs, now single.
Junren, 2yrs +, now single.
Sam, 2yrs +, now attached with another person.
Daniel, 2yrs ?, heard on the verge of singlehood.
Pangchune, 1yr, single.
My cousin, ???, attached but I knw he changed 3 times.
My female cousin, about the same.
Jasper, ???, single (no comments)


I'm sure I've forgotten some. Even I didnt last out. Whats there to be said?

And no, I'm not lonely, I'm enjoying singlehood, and laughing at those who say their in love right now.

World Aids Day

If you got $38...

Go scare yourself. Get an aids test done.

Exciting isnt it. You know what you have done before..

What if I didnt..But it turned out positive..


Try it today at your nearest GPs, Polyclinics and hospitals.

s t r e s s

@$%!#$!##%

Sorry I wasted your time reading this.









I've wasted mine already.

Hmm

Had a dinner with my long lost (not that lost) secondary sch friend. Very insightful, and although kenna suan about my poor language abilities, still it was still fun dinner, with her college jo as well.

But I will admit it is a total failure to impress thou. Somehow I just cant stop being a 15yr old at heart, and not that impressive you know, like I'm not quite sure about footing the bill -_-.

There are some things to be reflected on, and regarding the previous post as well.

I find that no matter how much I choose to close myself to the world, I cant. All these friends that I have now are friends I have met through much joking and crapping, they're here because of my wacky behaviour. And true to say, being wacky is my nature. A leopard cant change its skin ( in direct translation, laugh all you want! ), so I understood that it would not be right to change my nature, to change me to another person.

But perhaps what I will change is my attitude to others. IF you guys havnt know I have the fuck you attitude if I dont quite like you bullshit. This few days I was sick as well, doesnt have much energy to go pissing around for nothing, and I find, being nice sure beats being grumpy ( energy consuming. we need to save energy ). Lets strive for a better world to live in =)

And about my photos, somehow I cant believe someone will compare me to someone else who isnt a professional and say my photos sucks. Yes I know my photos isnt the best, and I know I a level lower then most photographers out there, but hearing someone saying in your face that your 3rd class really deals a blow. My PHOTOS LACK DIRECTION! Doesnt tell a story.

I'm going to kick start my career in photography. Better now then never. Never too late to start.

I'm going to do volunteer service, hopefully with the association for the blind or some other handicap association. To boost my confidence in taking portraits, improve my skill, and return some good to the society.

I must prove my worth, develop my style, find my identity.

After a chain of events, I have decided that I talk too much for the past 19 yrs, shown too much emotions, fucked (verbally) too much people, made too much enemies, made too few friends, still single at this time, and accomplished nothing.


There is the cheerful chongyew, the funny chongyew, the crappy chongyew, the dreadful chongyew, the disgusting chongyew, the evil chongyew, the big ego chongyew, the super confident chongyew, the I dun give a fuck about you chongyew.

All these is to change. From now on no one will remember who is chongyew. His standing in the background when there is group pictures taken. His keeping quiet in the meeting. He never attends any social functions. He never answers any telephone. He never replies on msn. Do you know who's chongyew? No never heard of him.

I'm going to destroy myself.

1. Becoming transparent in any forms of communication.
2. Be emotionless. Dont smile laugh fret angry.
3. Use of one liners. (if there is a need to converse)
4. Dont talk.
5. Stake out at a place of my own alone when I'm free.
6. Minimise contact with people.
7. Refuse gatherings.

This will make me = cold, selfish, emotionless, ignored, discarded, invisible.
No hate, no love, no friends, no enemies.

If you see me on the streets. I will faint smile and walk on.
You will never know my opinions of you. Whether like or dislike, love or hate, all you get is a winter cold front.

If you ask me for an opinion, I will say none.

In my heart, there will be conflicts. There will be opinions. But none will make it out. No one will know. Its all hidden under my expressionless face.



No one will remember who I am.

After a few years, I will emerge when I am ready to make a new world for myself. Perhaps then, all the people I know would have left me.

Chong yew as you have know, is gone.


Farewell.

(comments will be removed from now on.)

Grumpy old man

Hey man. I think I have let the world off leniently for the pats few weeks. There hasnt been much cursing and swearing for quite a while I believe!

Duh whats happening to me. Btw I have no dates this weekend, so mei an you get to see my empty spirit at esplanade if your there.

Short update. My club is in the dumps, I'm devoting more of my time to it to try to rebuild it. Sch's started, much more harder modules, so I'm tied down once again. No shooting planned for weekends to come.


1 more month to my long awaited medical. I better start training.

And when the stress becomes e=mc² its time to FUCK SOMEBODY.

(grrr)

I would have killed you if I had the chance.

The guessing game

Me : Free this wkend? Wanna go catch a movie, we can have dinner, I know this great place for desserts. And if we have time, maybe we can chill at the esplanade roof terrace.

Her : Oh whoa! K...Tat's something i wld do with my girlfriend in holidays at least once... But from a guy....... U askin me on a date....is tat wat it is?

Me : Haha. Which ever it is your comfortable with. I guess whats impt is we're comfortable when we're out. yup.

Her : Very neutral ans... Want to be on e safe side huh? But hey how am i suppose to knw how do u classify it?

Me : Hmm... Haha for me i guess whats impt is meeting and spending time with you. So yah its a date. c=

Her : Hmmmok.... Thankx for tellin it upfront.....(rest of the sms is not impt)


Right. There's my date for next wk! I dun like mind games, but you still need use your brain ^^

Me.

I found a old picture of me. Haha comically styled hairstyle.

Old values?

Old values no longer have a place in this world?

Friendship, loyalthy, love, respect, and so many more.

What are the new values people live by? Lies and deceit?

Am I to die with them?

The Community Service Trip

Here are the updates from my trip! I've chosen to cut it short by just posting pictures.

Day 1


Its 0100..And I'm still packing

Only slept at 0200+.


Just about to depart, team susan lanka @ departure gate 10


Its very sunny you know. First light in Sri Lanka!


Sri Lankan Airlines...


Already in the van...It has been 2hrs since we set off to our destination, Galle town, where we will stay for 2wks.


Still in the van...Somewhere....Fancy sitting in a chair the size just bigger then your butt in the same position for 6hrs?


A welcomed breather! We stopped at this place where 1500 ppl died when the tsunami came. It has since become a tourist attraction.


Wrecked.


Finally! We have reached...by the way, its a house with a fake door infront. The real door's at the back.


First family dinner! Only salty fired rice thou.

Different clicks

I wander further from my friends.

A group went to zouk today.

My old class had a class gathering while I was gone.

It has come to this. Is this the end?

Finally, on the grey shores.

I have fallen.

Honey! I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Hi.

No time to blog. Slept till 12pm today, need to chill,

Now processing pics, tml have to chiong to FYP again.

No more hols T.T

I'll slowly update sri lanka on my blog. Stay tuned.

Very sad leh I left no one left any well wishes on my blog. T.T

Bye.